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07/20/17

 

 

 

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            Thoroughbred Tracks of the World

Aintree

Gold Coast Turf Club

Pleasanton

Albuquerque

Golden Gate Fields

Plumpton Race Course

Alice Springs

Goodwood Racecourse

Portland Meadows

Aqueduct

Great Yarmouth Race Course

Pontefract

Arapahoe

Greyville Race Course

Prairie Meadows

Arlington Park

Gulfstream Park

Presidente Remon

Ascot(AUS)

Hamilton Park Presque Isle Downs

Ascot(UK)

Happy Valley

Punchestown

Assiniboia Downs

Hastings Park

Qatar Jockey Club

Atlantic City Race Course

Hawthorne

Queensland Turf Club

Australian Turf Club

Haydock Park

Redcar Town Race Course

Ayr Racecourse

Hereford Race Course

Remington Park

Baden Baden

Hexham Race Course

Retama Park

Ballinrobe

Hipodromo Chile

Rillito Downs

Bangor On Dee

Hipodromo Costa Del Sol

Ripon

Barbados Turf Club

Hipodromo de la Americas

River Downs

Bath

Hipodromo de la Zarzuela

Royal Western India Turf Club

Beijing Jockey Club

Hipodromo de Pineda

Ruidoso Downs

Belmont Park

Hollywood Park

Sacramento

Beulah Park

Hong Kong Jockey Club

Salisbury Race Course

Beverley Race Course

Hoosier Park

Sam Houston

Blue Ribbon Downs

Horsemen's Park

Sandown Park

Brighton

Huntingdon Race Course

San Isidro

Brisbane Ippodromo S.Artemio Treviso Santa Anita

CARF California Fairs

Indiana Downs Santa Rosa

Calder Race Course

Japan Jockey Club

Santiago

Camarero

Jockey Club Of The Czech Republic

Saratoga Race Course
Canberra/Thoroughbred Park

Jockey Club Of Turkey

Sedgefield Race Course

Canterbury Park

Kawasaki Race Course

Sha Tin

Canterbury Park(AUS)

Keeneland

Singapore

Capannelle

Kelso

Slovakian Turf Club

Carlisle

Kempton

Southwell

Cartmel

Kentucky Downs

Stockton

Catterick

Kilbeggan

Stratford Race Course

Chantilly

Killarney

Suffolk Downs

Charles Town

Korean Racing Association

Sunland Park

Cheltenham Race Course

Laurel

Sun Ray Park

Chepstow

Leicester Race Course

Swedish Jockey Club

Chester Races

Leopardstown

Sydney Turf Club

Churchill Downs

Les Bois Park

Täby Galopp

Clairwood

Limerick

Tampa Bay Downs

Cologne

Lingfield

Taunton Race Course

Colonial Downs

Listowel

Thirsk Race Course

Cork Race Course

Lonestar Park

Thistledown

Curragh

Longchamp

Tokyo Race Course

Deauville

Los Alamitos

Towcester Race Course

Del Mar

Los Comuneros

Tralee

Delaware Park

Louisiana Downs

Tramore

Delta Downs

Ludlow Race Course

Turf club of Spain

Doncaster

Macau Jockey Club

Turf Paradise

Dortmunder-Rennverein

Market Rasen Race Course

Turfway Park

Down Royal

Marquis Downs

Uttoxeter Race Course

Dubai Jockey Club

Mauritius Turf Club

Venezuelan Racing Club

Ellerslie

Monmouth Park

Victoria Racing Club

Ellis Park

Monterrico

Warsaw Race Course

Emerald Downs

Moonee Valley Racing Club

Warwick Race Course

Epsom Downs

Mountaineer Race Track

Warwick Race Course

Evangeline Downs

Musselburgh Race Course

Wexford

Exeter Race Course

Naas

Will Rogers Downs

Fair Grounds

Newbury Race Course

Wincanton

Fair Meadows @ Tulsa

Newcastle Race Course

Windsor

Fairmount Park

Newton-Abbot

Wolvega

Fairplex Park

New Zealand Racing

Wolverhampton

Fairyhouse

Nicosia Race Course

Woodbine

Fakenham Race Course Northlands Park

Worcester

Finger Lakes

Nottingham Racecourse

Yarmouth

Flemington

Oaklawn Park York Race Course

Folkestone Park

Øvrevoll - banen

Zia Park

Fonner Park

Palermo

 
Fontwell Park

Parx

 
Fort Erie

Penn National

 
Fresno

Perth

 
Fresno

Pimlico

 

 

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Harness Tracks

Balmoral Kawartha Downs Saginaw
Batavia Downs Lebanon Raceway Sandown Park
Buffalo Raceway Maywood Park Saratoga Harness
Cal-Expo Meadowlands Scarborough
Charlottetown Mohawk Racetrack Scioto Downs
Clinton Raceway Monticello Raceway Stampede Park
Colonial Northfield Park Suburban Downs
Delaware Ohio Fair Northlands Park Sudbury Downs
Dover Downs Northville Downs Summerside Raceway
Elmira Raceway Ocean Downs Tallinna Hipodroom
Flamboro Downs Pinehurst Teivo Racetrack
Fraser Downs Plainridge Racecourse The Meadows
Freehold Raceway Pocono Downs The Red Mile
Georgian Downs Pompano Park Tir Prince Raceway
Harold Park Raceway Prairie Meadows Vernon Downs
Harrington Raceway Quinte Raceway Western Fair Raceway
Hazel Park Raceway Park Windsor Raceway
Hiawatha Recklinghausen Woodbine
Hippodrome de Montreal Rideau Carleton Yonkers Raceway
Hoosier Park Rockingham  
Indiana Downs Rosecroft
     
     

Racing Information Links of all other varieties

American Turf Monthly Hoofbeats Racing Post
ASAP Horseplayer Ragozin Sheets
Blood Horse Horse Races.net Sporting Life
Bloodstock Research Indian Charlie US Trotting
Breeders' Cup International Horse Thorofan.com
Bright Futures Farms Jockey Club Thorograph
CERF LetItRide.com Thoroughbed Daily News
C.A.N.T.E.R National Museum Of Racing Thoroughbred Times
Capitol OTB News trot Time Form
Daily Racing Form NTRA Track Data Systems
Equibase NYCOTB Unbridledtv
Equine Rescue Race Replays Venezuelan Racing Information
Harnessracing.com Racing-index  
     

 

Join Thorofan and become a fan with a voice in what happens in our sport!  http://www.thorofan.com/

 

  Racing humor
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post.
I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks "Which way do I go?"
But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
                                                              Henny Youngman

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Let's face it folks we all get tough beats at the track but hopefully a few of the jokes listed below can make you laugh & relieve some of the tension. Enjoy & feel free to submit jokes to us @ comments@surethingselections.com. Only clean jokes will be posted & jokes with attachments or pictures will not be accepted either.

bullet A man is sitting at his table quietly reading the Form one morning when his wife comes up behind him and whacks him in the head with a frying pan.
"What the hell was that for he asks?"
"I found a piece of paper in your pants with the name Marylou on it" she creams at him.
"Oh that was just the name of a horse I bet on at the track the other day dear" he replied.
His wife apologizes to him and gets him some ice for his head.
That weekend the man is sitting at the table quietly reading the Form again when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him in the head with the frying pan again.
"Damn. What was that for?" he asks.
"Your horse called" she snarled.
 
bullet The little boy came running into the house when he got home. "Mommy, daddy took me to the zoo."
"That can't be" she said "there is no zoo within a 100 miles of here."
"It's true mom, one of the animals even paid him $50!"

 
bullet I bet on a horse who was so slow his jockey kept a journal of the trip.
 
bullet My horse was so late getting home he tip-toed into the barn.
 
bullet

A horse walked up to the betting window and plopped his money down.
"I want to bet fifty bucks on myself to win the fifth race," said the horse.
"I don't believe it!" said the astonished clerk.
"You don't believe what?", said the horse, "That I can talk?"
"No", replied the clerk, "You don't stand a chance of winning the fifth race."

 

bullet An obscure trainer breezed into Kentucky with a six-year-old horse that had never raced before, and  entered him in a race. The horse won easily and paid a whopping price.
The racing stewards did not like this and questioned the owner.
"Is this horse unsound?" they asked.
"Not a bit," said the owner.
"In that case," asked the stewards, "why have you never raced him before?"
"Sir, we couldn't even catch the critter until he was five years old."

 
bullet A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one holding onto their "wee wees" to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.

Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said,
"You must be in the 5th grade."

"No, ma'am, " he replied. "I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the seventh."

 
bullet A Preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told there were fortunes in race horses, he decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey came in third.
The next day the racing sheets carried the headlines, "Preacher's Ass shows".
The Preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the races again and this time he won! The papers said, "Preacher's Ass out in Front".
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The newspaper printed this headline, "Bishop Scratches Preacher's Ass".
This was just too much for the Bishop and he ordered the Preacher to get rid of the animal. The Preacher decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The headlines the next day read, "Nun has the Best Ass in Town".
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey and she finally found a farmer who was willing to buy it for $10.00. The paper states, "Nun Peddles Ass for Ten Bucks".
They buried the Bishop the next day.

 
bullet Why did the thoroughbred go behind the trees? To change his jockeys!
 
bullet A simple woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse  and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slips down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its troubled rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune....
Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

 
bullet What's the difference between praying in church & at the track? At the track you really mean it!
 
bullet An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. A local on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a near by town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the guy would let out a "Whoop" so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Yahoo" and rode off.
"What did you do to get him so fired up?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing," shrugged the woman, I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.
"Lady," the attendant said, "that guy was riding bareback..."



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This site was last updated 07/19/17

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